Red Flag Churches: Where's the Love?

By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.

John 13:35

How many of you remember the old Wendy’s TV commercials from the ‘80's with the little old lady wanting to know, “Where’s the beef?” She was looking for the meat, looking for what makes a hamburger a hamburger. In one of the ads, there is a really big, fluffy bun, but hardly any beef.

I have been asking myself a similar question where the church is concerned. I look at what we call “church” and wonder, have we missed it? The meat of the church is supposed to be love. God is love. We are called to love. They will know us by our love. Without love we are nothing. If love is the meat of the church, I want to know where it is.

I see big ole churches being erected, thousands and thousands spent to house one brand of Christianity or another so they can do their programs, services and whatever else they do that they call “church”. Even the word “service” bothers me now. The only way that word is used in the King James New Testament is to refer to serving others, not to some scripted ritual once or twice a week. And of course to pay for all this, we are gifted with sermons that demand, Tithe or Burn!! (I stole that one from The Rise of the Nones*.)

Where’s the love?

We sit through these “services” led by the few that are supposed to be qualified to dispense their revelations for the week while the rest of us sit and stare at the back of someone’s head. (Forgive me- I freely admit to having grown rather cynical.) This whole system does nothing but breed laziness and dependence in the congregation and burnout in the leaders. We've turned into the Israelites of old, who decided that Moses would hear from God for them. They didn't want to go to that mountain! We all are supposed to be hearing from God, not just the few. We are all supposed to be ministers, but even the concept of ministry is warped in my opinion. “Ministry” isn’t getting in front of a group of people to lead a service or a Bible study or whatever. It’s ministering love to those in the world, those more likely than not who are not in the building but OUT THERE, who desperately need to see Jesus in us.

Where’s the love?

Having done our religious duty for the week, we feel like we can call ourselves “Christian” and go about the rest of our lives, more often than not, leaving Christianity at that church door. How often do people forget what the sermon was about, let alone implement any of it? Sermon? Hey, I'm busy obsessing about the out-of-place hair on the person in front of me!

Where’s the love?

Typical practice is for any charity work to be done in the name of that church- giving to various ministries including missionaries, and any other outreaches that minister to those outside that church. Generally, it’s just money put in the plate that constitutes the participation of the majority of the congregation. And we go home feeling like we’ve done our duty, even though only a small percentage of our giving actually gets to anyone in need, simply because of the ever-present expenses of building maintenance, insurance, (loan payments???) and paid staff.

Where’s the love?

I once helped out an older lady I had known for quite a few years. She had no family that was helping, had moved to an assisted living facility, and I provided transportation and company. She had been a member of a small church in the area for years, and had not gotten one phone call, let alone a visit since she'd been in that facility. I had to twist that pastor's arm not once but twice to get out there and visit her when she was diagnosed with terminal cancer. I was more apt to give that family a pass for not visiting or calling before I'd have cut that church any slack. I was completely disgusted with them, and he was the one that she insisted on officiating at her funeral. This is the church?

Where's the love???

The world sees Christians as:

. . hyperpolitical, out of touch, pushy in our beliefs, and arrogant. And the most dominant perceptions of all are that we are homophobic, hypocritical, and judgmental. Simply put, in the minds of many, modern-day Christianity no longer seems Christian. **

This is how the world perceives us. And all too often, they are right. So many “Christian” groups have just sailed into the ditch of judgmentalism thinking they are doing God’s work, while love just gets left in the dust. How many of those people they condemn could have been (or still be) won by just loving them?

Maybe your church isn’t one of those radical, hate-filled numbers that ruins the reputation of Christianity. I hope not. But still, our complacency and dependence on an authority structure have robbed us and the Body of Christ of real ministry and real growth. And with the reputation that the church has in the world, those that truly need him are never going to darken the door. Granted, most churches do the best they know to do and have done a great deal of good over the years, but there is just so much more.

They will know we are Christians by our love, not by our buildings. They will know we are Christians by our love, not by our Bibles we carry around or our bumper stickers. They will know we are Christians by our love, not by our judgmental, hate-filled “biblical” attitudes toward those who just simply need Jesus. They will know we are Christians by our love, not by how we dress up and go to church on Sundays.

And they will know we are Christians by our love, not by our political affiliation and all the venom and righteous indignation we spew toward the "other side". Then, one of my personal favorites- they will know we are Christians by our love, not by how we judge those outside the Church, but give those claiming Christianity a pass because, "Oh, Jesus told us to judge not." Paul told us to do exactly the opposite- we are to judge believers, those claiming Christianity, but God will judge those outside the Church (1 Cor. 5:12), yet we see that righteous indignation all the time toward all kinds of people who are not a part of the Church. We have it completely backward. Those we are unrighteously judging need to see our love, not our condemnation. Indeed, we are to judge the cause of the poor and the needy, for this is righteous judgment, and this is to know God (Jer. 22:16).

They will know we are Christians when we realize our allegiance is to the Lamb and to the Kingdom of God, and finally start doing what God said to do- Go! He never told us to build buildings, concoct programs and events and try to persuade the world to come. They ain't comin'! He told us to go, and He commanded us to love.

Do we just have "big, fluffy bun" Christianity? Where’s the love?

If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing.

But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love.

1 Cor 13:1-3, 13 NASB