Institutional Church- The Old Wineskin

We Need Another Reformation

 And the veil of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. (Mk 15:38)

You yourselves like living stones are being built up as a spiritual house, to be a holy priesthood, to offer spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ. (1 Pet. 2:5)

When Jesus Christ died, the veil separating man from God was torn. The priesthood as it had been known was abolished and we are all now kings and priests. Theoretically. But you certainly can’t tell it when you walk into any church of any brand where there is always one person that is the “called” one with the anointing and a distinct separation between them and us. It’s called the clergy/laity divide, and it was supposed to have been abolished. We give mental assent to the concept of the priesthood of believers, but we certainly don’t practice it.

As I have navigated my way through deconstruction, I have found myself more and more convinced that the basic traditional church model is entirely man-made. With the institutional church model as the basis for practicing Christianity, the whole concept gets warped and becomes a breeding ground for abuse or burnout. One commenter in a Facebook group I watch believes that the traditional church model is a doctrine of devils. They may have a point.

The Building

Jesus replied, “Foxes have dens and birds have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.”  Mt. 8:20

After reading Frank Viola’s book Pagan Christianity (link below), I started seeing how what we call “church” just isn’t what it should be. Viola goes through various aspects of the institutional church setup and points out the origins of each, starting with the buildings. The Greek word ekklesia translated “church” is never used to refer to a building. Instead, it always refers to the body of believers.

Buildings were erected as a means of making Christianity more palatable to pagans and Jews who had their temples. The sermon came from Greek oratory. Choirs and candles? The Romans. Steeples? I don’t even want to go there.

And from there, over the centuries, the building became the “house of God” (like you have to go into one of those places to find God), the rituals carried on inside those walls became “services”, a term never used in that sense in the Bible, and hierarchies developed. Christianity became just another religion.

The Clergy/Laity Divide

But Jesus called them to him and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them.  It shall not be so among you.  (Mt. 20:25-26)  ...hast made us unto our God kings and priests: and we shall reign on the earth.”  (Rev. 5:10)

People want their leaders. The Jews insisted on a leader, a king, so God gave them Saul (1 Sam. 8).  It would appear we have not heeded that lesson.

Hierarchies.  The clergy/laity divide. I first think of the Catholic caste system with the Pope on down to the peons. But in spite of the 16th century Reformation, hierarchies have persisted, though in Protestant circles in modern times they are more like corporations with CEO’s.

Jesus said, “It shall not be so among you.” But it is, in every “church” building you care to walk into. There is a distinct division between the “called” and the not-so-called. The ones with titles and the ones without. The ones that hear from God and the ones that don’t, and so are dependent on the ones that do. We are all kings and priests, unless you step foot inside a “house of God”.

This, right here, is an absolute breeding ground for abuse. If you want to figure out why there’s so much abuse of all sorts being exposed in churches, look no further. We exalt one leader, give him the authority to speak for God, and we’re off and running. Abusers absolutely target churches because they can exalt themselves as God’s mouthpiece, convince their victims that submitting to abuse is what God wants, then demand that we all walk in forgiveness. What a tidy little package. We’ve created an utter playground for them.

We have been conditioned and raised to believe we need a leader, someone who hears from God to guide us. But we so readily forget what John said-

And as for you, the anointing which you received from Him remains in you, and you have no need for anyone to teach you. (1 John 2:27)   But when He, the Spirit of truth, comes, He will guide you into all the truth.  (John 16:13)

But the system passed down for generations insists that we do need someone to teach us, making us dependent on someone else’s opinions and interpretations, and undermining our confidence in our own ability to hear from God.  The need for a pastor is a deception, plain and simple, and I am coming to believe more and more that this insistence on a pastor as a leader is what has kept the body of Christ in infancy, incapable of fulfilling the Gospel.

Patriarchy

There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female; for ye are all one in Christ Jesus. (Gal. 3:28-29)

The insistence on a leader runs hand-in-hand with the patriarchal mindset, the dogged determination to keep women in their places throughout the centuries. Patriarchy gives the green light to narcissistic preachers and husbands to run over the women in their lives.  “There is neither male nor female”, but we’ve all seen what goes on anyway.

Beth Allison Barr’s book The Making of Biblical Womanhood  traces the “biblical womanhood” mindset throughout history and dissects many of the verses that have been used to keep women in their place. It’s a great read I highly recommend, link below.

Titles

But as for you, do not be called Rabbi; for only One is your Teacher, and you are all brothers and sisters.  And do not call anyone on earth your father; for only One is your Father, He who is in heaven.  And do not be called leaders; for only One is your Leader, that is, Christ. (Mt. 23:8-10)

Can you get any plainer than that? There’s a reason for this. Titles, positions, offices are just plain dangerous. They feed pride. Addressing the upper echelon (The Big Cheese) of church hierarchy with a title just feeds the monster, making the division between laity and clergy, leaders and followers, that much more pronounced. The terms “father”, “pastor”, “reverend” (which is my personal fav), “deacon”, or if you’re across the pond, “vicar”, they all exist as a way to separate the favored from the masses, the gifted from the not-gifted, the called from the not-called. The whole system is divisive. And in abusive churches particularly, the leadership LOVES titles, and demands that titles be used when addressing them, further cementing the required submission of their victims. Titles feed their need for control.

Abuse is obviously a major pitfall of this system. But it works the other way as well with burnout. People have huge expectations of the pastor or whatever title the leader has. The one in charge is expected to do whatever ridiculous expectations are put on him/her, while the rest sit in the pews and do relatively little. According to Christianity Today as of Nov. 16, 2021, 38% of pastors were considering leaving the ministry.  This kind of burden was never supposed to be.

Time for a New Wineskin

But no one puts a patch of unshrunk cloth on an old garment; for the patch pulls away from the garment, and a worse tear results.  Nor do people put new wine into old wineskins; otherwise the wineskins burst, and the wine pours out and the wineskins are ruined; but they put new wine into fresh wineskins, and both are preserved. (Mt. 9:16-17)

The old wineskin of the traditional, institutional, man-made church system that was essentially derived from paganism one way or another, needs to go. The traditional church model breeds dependence on man, not God. We have been programmed to depend on rituals to qualify as Christians- scripted, scheduled services in a building, tithing, etc., and on the callings of others, like there’s no calling on our lives. I drive by churches now, and just grieve at the waste of money on those buildings, and the oppression/dependence they (mostly) unwittingly promote.

There are plenty of books now that explore the possibilities, calling one concept "organic church". Basically, they are describing home groups that are much more fluid, with facilitators that encourage group participation, sharing what God is doing, what He's saying to individuals.  These groups aren't set in stone- they move from location to location, and dissolve and redevelop over time. I believe this model is much more apt to allow individuals to develop their own callings. (I've linked a few of those books below.)

I had come across these books as I was researching the concept of spiritual abuse which was practiced in a church I'd attended for 12 years. Pulling out of that has led me to pull out of the whole man-made system, hoping for something better. If you are interested,  Red Flag Churches is the free ebook I put together on what I have learned about spiritual abuse.

I understand how hard it is to get your mind around Christianity without all the institutional trappings we have come to accept. We assume that to be a Christian, we must adhere to the accepted rituals, the acknowledging of an anointing on those in charge, and the assumed lack of anointing on the rest of us. And let’s not forget the undercurrents or outright in-your-face patriarchal mindset so many have been raised with.

We are all kings and priests. We all have the Holy Spirit speaking to us. We have no need for any man to teach us. There is neither male nor female. We are all one in Christ Jesus. We need a new wineskin that will allow this kind of expression.

It may well take another great awakening, another reformation to bring us into the fullness of the Body of Christ as we should be. The deconstruction movement may well be the precursor to such a revolution. It can’t come soon enough for me.

Cease ye from man. (Is. 2:22)

 

 I had put together a couple posts quite some time ago along the same lines-

Liquid Church: The Shape of Church to Come

The Dechurched, the Wilderness Experience, and the Next Move of God

 

 

 Recommended Reading

Pagan Christianity by Frank Viola

 Traces the history of all the traditions we call "church".

 

 

The Making of Biblical Womanhood by Beth Allison Barr

Recounts the history of Complementarianism, or biblical womanhood throughout the centuries.

 

The Church Can Go to Hell by Disember Rose Wattleton

Disember describes her abusive experiences in church and how she's come through it all.

 

 All My Knotted Up Life by Beth Moore

Beth's memoirs, detailing the trials she's gone through, in particular the walls she slammed up against in the name of patriarchy and why she chose to leave the SBC.

 

Reimagining Church by Frank Viola

Church done from a biblical model, not the institutional version we all know. If you are in deconstruction, I recommend all of Viola's books, Finding Organic Church in particular.

Finding Church: What if There Really Is Something More? by Wayne Jacobsen  

This book has absolutely hit the nail on the head. Wayne clearly shows how the true Church is expressed by individuals leading their lives by the promptings of the Holy Spirit and demonstrating the love of God to those around them. It has little to do with "church" as we've know it.

 An Irreligious Faith: How to Starve Religion and Feed Life by Glenn Hager

This is Hager's personal account of his church experience and what led to his leaving institutional church. He has a lot of great ideas for the church of the future.

Red Flag Churches: Distinguishing Protection from Control

This recounts my experiences in a spiritually abusive church and what I have learned since leaving.  Free download in several formats.

 

 

 

Are You in a Red Flag Church?

Spiritual Abuse Basics: Are You in a Red Flag Church?

 Take heed that no man deceive you. Mt. 24:4

 

Do you attend a church where everything is seemingly great, but leaves you wondering and empty inside? Does everyone seem to enter into worship and seem to be satisfied, but you're not? If you have a nagging feeling that something just isn't right but you can't nail it down, you may be in an abusive church.  If it's an abusive church, it may look like a ministry full of light and life and all things wonderful. But underneath you'll find nothing more than control masked as protection.

Red flag churches aren't obvious. They have a very slick veneer of spirituality that deceives those who attend into thinking they are in a solid fellowship. The truth isn't apparent until you've been there for awhile and start to see the junk that goes on underneath the surface. Scripture is twisted to meet the requirements of the assumed authority of the leadership, but just enough truth is preached to keep people hooked. The doctrines promoted in these churches place huge stumbling blocks in the path of those searching for the truth, deceptive doctrines that essentially pull people into seeking the honor of men rather than the honor of God.

 

A quick checklist of points to watch for:

 

    1. Constant preaching on submission to authority

    2. Works; be there; serve til you drop.

    3. Loyalty; please the leadership

    4. Secrecy and information control

    5. Isolation

All of these are expounded upon below. All these are huge, huge red flags.

If you have been attending a church that leaves you feeling empty, confused and feeling guilty, and if you feel like something is wrong, but you just can't put your finger on it, you may be in an abusive church. The main problem is that as long as you are in a church like this, the only thing that you will recognize is the nagging feeling that something is just not right. The bewitching influence of the false doctrine preached in these churches blinds their members to the truth so that getting through to those under this influence is a bit of a trick.

Another problem is in seeing the situation as actually abusive. I was very slow to acknowledge the abusive nature of the church I was in, mostly because I knew that the pastor's intent was good, that he was a "nice guy", and that much of what went on in the services had enough truth in it to keep most of us hooked for years. I left out of frustration, but it took a good year or so to come to terms with the fact that it indeed was both a cult, and abusive. The terminology put me off for a long time.

 

 In my research after pulling out of that church, I found that the whole basic setup we call "church" is mostly traditions of men. The structure that is adhered to in any traditional church is the basic "one man rule" setup that puts one man, woman or couple in charge, leaving everyone else dependent on them for a "word from God". 

 

The Church was never intended to be patterned off man-made power structures in the first place. We are to be led by the Spirit, not some man-appointed leader. Jesus even told us in Matthew 20:26 that "it shall not be so among you." Paul said, "But the anointing which ye have received of him abideth in you, and ye need not that any man teach you." (1 John 2:27)

 

But walk into any church in any town, and that's what you'll see- some man or woman set up as the spiritual authority, and the rest relegated to sheep status. And in my opinion, this is the basic problem that lends itself to abuse so very readily. We are too programmed to submit to a man-made authority without testing the spirits, without being led by the Spirit. Would that I had been led by the Spirit when I first walked in those doors. Maybe Christians are just too gullible.

Now there are plenty of non-abusive churches and leaders; I'm targeting those that take advantage of the system as it stands now. I simply contend that the system can too readily lend itself to abuse.

Because you are reading this, I assume you have questions concerning the church you attend, or perhaps one that someone you know attends. I can't stress enough the subtlety of spiritual abuse; if you have any doubts at all, the chances are great that the church you question is not right. This post will give you an overview of what to look for to identify an abusive church. If you want more information, a free download of my book Red Flag Churches: Distinguishing Protection from Control is available at smashwords.com.

 

The Spiritual Covering Doctrine

Absolute Authority, Submission and Obedience

In abusive churches, submission to authority is the main theme of most sermons and something that is always lurking around in the background. In their estimation, the dumb sheep need their leadership and oversight because they are more "spiritual" than the rest of us. They have the calling, they have the training and possibly the education, and so they are qualified to lord it over the congregation.

 

In the church I attended, and I'm sure other non-denominational churches, this is how this doctrine is referred to.  In other denominations, you'll find churches that adhere to that umbrella diagram of authority.  It's all the same idea- submission.

This is the Big Daddy, the Sacred Cow of doctrine in these places- you must be submitted to authority to have authority, a concept taken from a Watchman Nee book, Spiritual Authority. Beware of any church that uses this book as required reading for any leadership training. Out of this concept comes the whole spiritual covering doctrine, a doctrine that essentially says that you can't leave their oversight or evil will befall you- a neat little controlling mechanism. Any church that uses this book as required reading is more than likely abusive.

Submission IS a biblical concept, but not the way it is demanded in abusive churches. Submission in biblical context is mutual with submission to one another, not the very one-sided version found in these churches. Along the same line are the armor bearer books. These books promote a position of servitude to a leader, but with a façade of honor. These so-called armor bearers are people that follow the leaders around like puppy dogs doing their bidding, and not just in church. This extends into their personal lives as well, doing errands and whatever else the controlling leadership desires. 

 

Serving is one thing, but requiring servitude from someone to prove their loyalty is entirely different. Beware of any church that uses these books as required reading. I don't really know if the author's intent is biblical or not, I just know how controlling leadership uses these books for their own purposes.

Authority is never really delegated in these churches because absolutely everything goes through the leaders anyway. They bestow title and position, but there is no real authority that goes with it. Those that receive these honors are just people who rubber stamp the leadership in whatever they decide they want, and any challenge to their authority is deemed a challenge to God Himself. 

 

One of their favorite Bible verses is Psalm 105:15- "Touch not mine anointed, and do my prophets no harm." That one is trotted out regularly to threaten anyone that might take issue with them. "Mine anointed" creates the aura of holiness that builds the intimidation factor- "I'm holy and you're not, so you can't touch me."  Besides the fact that the verse is taken entirely out of context in the first place.

Titles are very important to these kinds of leaders, titles and image. Everything is a façade with image being the overriding priority in their thinking. Because image is so important, they will lie from the pulpit to protect it. You will not know why people have left unless you actually go to the ones that left and ask, and that is actively discouraged. An ex-elder once told me that they were instructed by the pastors to make them look good. That was the only reason they were bestowed with the title "elder". Red flag, perhaps??

I posted an entire article on The Spiritual Covering Doctrine.  I also have a post on that fun little umbrella diagram promoted by Bill Gothard and Co. showing how submission works in these places- It's the System, Stupid! Hierarchy in the Church.

Religion- The Stumbling Block

Works, Works and More Works

Abusive churches are run by a system that promotes works and rules that are both spoken and unspoken. To gain the attention of the leadership and possible ministry position, people jump through hoop after hoop of works to prove their loyalty. And abusive leaders love loyalty.

 

Religion is works and works will bewitch those under its influence, and I can speak from firsthand experience when I say that you just don't see it until you get out from under it. It wasn't until I left that I realized everyone in there was consumed with brown-nosing to gain position and power.

These churches are psychological pits of codependency- people in leadership that need to prove themselves with works, and those that choose to submit to their authority and are willing to play the game. It is a sick treadmill in which the people are completely dependent on the leadership for everything, and some of the people want it that way.

Never forget- religion bewitches. Works bewitch. Under its influence you no longer see things as they are.

Idolatry

Worshiping Men and Money

Your loyalty is gauged by your performance, so as you begin to be consumed with proving your loyalty to the leadership, your focus shifts more and more away from pleasing God to pleasing men.

The intimidating nature of the leadership lends itself very readily to encouraging idolatry, with loyalty oaths and statements being rather common in these churches. These contracts or whatever you care to call them are statements of allegiance to men and lead to ungodly soul ties and idolatry. (For more information about soul ties, get the book Breaking Unhealthy Soul Ties by Bill and Susan Banks.) When this kind of commitment is made, leaving becomes much more difficult, and the draw back into the controlling environment becomes very strong. If you are presented with one of these contracts, DON'T SIGN!! Then sit back and look for other red flags.

Along with the idolatry aspect goes the whole atmosphere of covetousness. The prosperity doctrine was preached where I attended, and people were encouraged to "use their faith" to obtain the bigger houses and better cars that consume the desires of the leadership. This blatant conspicuous consumption is actively encouraged and considered the "blessing of God". 

 

This leads into the demand for the tithe. They twist arms by threatening people with the curse if they don't tithe, something that is completely unbiblical. And they are told that their giving determines their blessing from God, essentially throwing grace out the window. Giving becomes yet more works. Since leaving this church, I have also rethought my position on the tithe. If you are interested, check out To Tithe or Not to Tithe where I have also included links to several good books on the subject. Tithing is a touchy subject but one that needs to be openly discussed and not just accepted.

Silence, Secrecy and Information Control

NEVER Expose the Problem!!

It is absolutely against the unwritten rules to speak against the leadership in any way, shape or form. One never, never questions anything they do. This is the rule that enforces complete silence and it is this rule that allows the leadership to run completely unchecked. They do what they want with no accountability whatsoever. 

 

The concept of accountability is a very one-sided process in these churches, with the congregation thoroughly accountable to them, but they are accountable to no one, even though they may say they are. The accountability our pastor claims goes back to the pastor that taught him all this mess in the first place, making it completely worthless. And realizing that the mess goes back to their home church drives home the extent of the problem. Those people have "sent out" other preachers to propagate these dangerous doctrines in other parts of the country.

Nothing is ever done in the church without clear, specific approval. Without that permission granted from on high, you are in danger of committing grave sin, the sin of offering "strange fire", another doctrine that is twisted to serve their own agenda. As stated before, absolutely everything is directly managed by the leadership. We sat through plenty of  "sermons", a.k.a. brainwashing sessions, on offering strange fire that further instilled fear of ever questioning, let alone crossing, the leadership.

One of the truly aggravating aspects of these churches is the whole atmosphere of secrecy that permeates the place. No one knows anything and this is the way they want it. Information is tightly controlled so that if you want to know anything you have to find it out from the leadership. In the church I attended, even the lady that answered the phone had no clue about anything. She had to field calls all the time from people asking about things she was never told about by the leadership.   

 

Secrecy also includes the finances of the church. If financial information is not openly available to everyone, this is another huge red flag. If they can't be honest and open about how they're spending your money, find that exit and RUN!  And I don't mean some vague pie chart.  They should show you line by line income and expenses, exactly where your money is going.

Isolation

Then there's the rule that says that thou shalt never visit another church. You will receive all you need from them, so you don't need to go anywhere else. Other ministries are regularly denigrated and ties to the outside are cut off. This kind of secrecy and isolation create a great deal of frustration, but of course you're not allowed to talk about it.

I specifically remember the sermons built around the symbolism of a tree- if you pull up a tree by the roots to transplant it regularly it won't ever bear fruit. Right? The illustration was complete with visual aids in the form of a blackboard with a chalk drawing of a tree. We were told that if you don't "get planted" in a church, if you don't quit jumping around, you'll never bear fruit. 

 

This was just another angle on the move to convince you that you can't leave the place. We got the blackboard lesson at least once a year, and every time it was preached it built the walls around the place a little higher and a little thicker. And the irony was that even though you never left the place and stayed dutifully planted as taught, you weren't going to produce fruit. These places drain you; they don't feed you. 

 

They are essentially fruit robbers- there is no love, joy or peace in these places. Instead, they promote confusion, frustration and upset. And the longer you stay planted in such an environment, the worse it gets.

The Borg

or Mind-Numbed Robots

In abusive churches, you are expected to go to the leadership for everything; they want to do your thinking for you. Often you are told that you don't hear from God accurately, undermining your confidence. You never make your own decisions in a place like that because you're just dumb sheep that don't have the sense to come in out of the rain without being told. 

Leadership presents themselves as more spiritual than the masses, and you are continually told to trust them. Dependence on them for everything is the goal, of course. A friend of mine likened it to The Borg on Star Trek- your independent thinking disappears and is taken over by the collective thought of the leadership and all those duly brainwashed into their vision, their goals, their ministry. 

There is no such thing as a vision apart from the "vision of the house". Everything is geared toward that end. Churches that operate in a godly manner will do their best to help you work toward the vision God has given you, lifting you up and promoting you in the process. This will never happen in an abusive church. You are only there to be used by the leadership to promote them and their goals. "Vision of the house" is one of those catch phrases that was, and probably still is, bandied about regularly. It's not found in the Bible.

If you aren't a Star Trek fan, you can read about The Borg at Wikipedia.

Let the Peace of Christ Rule

Peace Should Be the Deciding Factor

And let the peace (soul harmony which comes) from Christ rule (act as umpire continually) in your hearts [deciding and settling with finality all questions that arise in your minds, in that peaceful state] to which as [members of Christ's] one body you were also called [to live]. And be thankful (appreciative), [giving praise to God always]. Col 3:15 AMP

This is such a crucial point- ALWAYS follow peace. If you have no peace in your church, it's time to consider finding another one. Abusive churches will leave you feeling frustrated, unspiritual, joy-less and confused; in other words, in a state that is anything but peaceful. According to the Word, allowing your peace to be taken from you will set you up as a target for the devil:

And God's peace [shall be yours, that tranquil state of a soul assured of its salvation through Christ, and so fearing nothing from God and being content with its earthly lot of whatever sort that is, that peace] which transcends all understanding shall garrison and mount guard over your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.  Phil 4:7 AMP

You will guard him and keep him in perfect and constant peace whose mind [both its inclination and its character] is stayed on You, because he commits himself to You, leans on You, and hopes confidently in You. Isaiah 26:3 AMP

The longer you stay in a place where you have no peace, the more apt you will be to sink into the submitted sheep role. Your protection is in peace, it is not in submission to the authority that hangs the spiritual covering doctrine and submission (or that danged umbrella) over your head!

I understand all too well how difficult it is to make the decision to leave, mostly because of the investment made into the place in time and resources. You just don't want to face the fact that you made a bad decision. But there are many, many others in the same boat, and God is more than able to recompense. 

 

If your church leaves you in a state of upset, I encourage you to just leave quietly and cut your losses. It is a command to seek peace. For more on leaving an abusive church, see Making the Decision to Leave an Abusive Church.

Bottom Line

Judge the Fruit

It's so important to judge the fruit, not the gifts, and listen to the still, small voice that is trying to guide you into peace. It's so very easy to be beguiled by the spiritual show, but it is the fruit you must look at very carefully.

First, decide if there is any fruit being produced by the church- are people being ministered to, is there any ministry being done outside the church, ministry to those in the community? Abusive churches become very closed communities with no ministry outside their own group. 

 

Also look at the fruit displayed by the leadership- do they walk in love and patience or are they harsh, rude and even mean? To see any negative side to their character, you may have to look behind the scenes. Image is all important, so the oh-so-spiritual front may be all they will display during services, though I am sure there are exceptions to this. The leadership had truly bad fruit behind the scenes where I attended.

Second, look at your own fruit. Are you in peace and joy when you attend services there, or are you left in frustration, confusion and even anger? If your church does not produce the fruit of peace and joy in your spirit, there is something wrong.

And last, if you begin to look around and see that people around you are merely striving for position, title and power, you are in a place that actively promotes idolatry. Jesus is no longer the Head in a red flag church. Abusive leadership consider themselves as a mediator between you and God, usurping Jesus' role as the only Mediator we need. This is idolatry run amok.

If your church fails these tests, you need to consider moving on for the sake of your own well being and certainly for the sake of your family, especially if you have children that are being influenced by this kind of teaching. 

 

These abusive leaders are more than likely textbook narcissists to one degree or another.  If so, they are incapable of empathy, incapable of understanding what their actions do to others.  Their entire goal is self-promotion and self-protection.  I've added several books below that specifically deal with narcissism in the church. 

 

The tactics used to gain and retain their followers often are the same tactics used by cult leaders with their "us vs. them" mentality, the idea that we have the truth, they don't, we are the only ones that will give you said truth, and leaving will be an open invitation to evil.  Brainwashing.  And I believe the traditional church model of an anointed leader and dumb sheep followers just swings the doors wide open to these people.  Christians traditionally aren't the best critical thinkers. 

 

This post is a summary of my book Red Flag Churches which is available as a free download. I encourage you to get educated- this is the first step in finding freedom and true peace. I have several related blog posts which will give you a good start, and a list of great books follows that helped me wade through all of this.

IN [this] freedom Christ has made us free [and completely liberated us]; stand fast then, and do not be hampered and held ensnared and submit again to a yoke of slavery [which you have once put off]. Gal. 5:1 AMP

Little children, keep yourselves from idols. 

1 John 5:21

Cease ye from man . . .

Isaiah 2:22

Recommended Reading

Understanding Is the First Step to Freedom

Books

Red Flag Churches- book recounting my experiences in an abusive church. Available as a free download in several formats at smashwords.








 

The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse by  David Johnson, Jeff Van Vonderen

This is the first book I found that really opened my eyes to the deception going on in the church I attended. This book is very easy to understand and highly recommended; if you don't get any other books, get this one. It is also available for Kindle.

Exposing Spiritual Abuse by Mike Fehlauer

This is the book written by the man who wrote an article I found online that began my journey out.

Charismatic Captivation by Steven Lambert

This is a very detailed, in-depth look at spiritual abuse. I don't agree with all his points of view, but he goes into great scriptural detail explaining why abusive church doctrines are so wrong.

Authority, Accountability and the Apostolic Movement by Stephen Crosby

This is another wonderful text that goes into great detail explaining spiritual abuse and why the doctrines are unscriptural.

Churches That Abuse by Dr. Ronald Enroth  An indepth look at quite a few abusive systems and an analysis of how they operate and what they have in common.

 

 

 When Narcissism Comes to Church: Healing Your Community from Emotional and Spiritual Abuse, by Chuck DeGroat

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Something's Not Right: Decoding the Hidden Tactics of Abuse and Freeing Yourself from Its Power, by Wade Mullen

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 The First Will Be Last: A Biblical Perspective on Narcissism, by DC Robertsson

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Blog Posts

Key Truths for the exiles scattered by toxic church systems- blog by Deborah Brunt Blog dealing with the abuse experienced in Baptist systems.

How to Deal with Spiritual Abuse Triggers- blog post by Aprille with a lot of very helpful information on dealing with the triggers that result from experiencing spiritual abuse.

More Good Reading

Breaking Unhealthy Soul Ties by Bill and Sue Banks

The whole concept of soul ties is explained, both healthy ties and unhealthy ones.

Toxic Faith by Stephen Arterburn, Jack Felton

When the drive to attend church becomes a problem.  Balance is the key.

Codependent No More by Melody Beattie

A very thorough reference that explains codependency and how it affects all concerned. Much of what goes on in abusive churches can be explained by the codependence concept.

Boundaries  by Henry Cloud and John Townsend

Learning how to say "no" to maintain peace.

Websites

These websites provide lots of information on church abuse and are all well worth checking out. Some have links to other organizations and websites.

Cultwatch.com

No Eden Elsewhere

Stop Spiritual Abuse